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Special Needs Children and Family Stress
Parenting is stress enough but if you add a special needs child your stress can be much more extreme. This stress will spill over to family members other than parents. Brothers and sister, grandparents, and extended family members may experience their own stress because of an autistic, mentally handicapped, or physically handicapped child.
What are some stressors for siblings of a special needs child? Not every brother or sister will experience these symptoms, but they are listed so parents will have something to watch for in their children.
Some siblings may experience embarrassment around their friends and peers. They may become defensive or overprotective of their sibling with special needs. They may also be frustrated because their brother or sister doesn't play or respond to their attempts at being friends or playing with them.
Jealousy may be another stress causing factor for siblings. They may resent the time that is given the special needs child by the parents. A parent may have no choice but to spend extra time with the special child and other siblings may find it hard to understand. Sometimes a sibling will try to make up to the parents for the problems they have with their brother or sister.
Siblings are almost always aware of the stress felt by parents. They may be concerned the stress can be overwhelming and wonder what will happen to them if parents become unable to handle the family problems. This is a real concern for some children, especially if the extended family is not close. They may also be stressed about whom will care for their special needs brother or sister if they are adults and something happens to the parents. It may be a source of stress to find they need to plan being the caregiver in the future for their handicapped sibling.
How can families ease the stress caused by a special needs child? Parents can begin the stress reduction process by admitting that some tasks are overwhelming and look for outside help in handling family responsibilities. Another stress reliever is to take time out of each day to spend time together. It may mean only a few minutes while fixing a meal together, or applying lotion to their spouse's hands. You may not think you have any spare time to devote to your spouse, but even a few minutes a day can make a difference.
Another way to relieve stress in the family is the reward system. A spouse can reward their partner with something special as a thank you for the sacrifices and hard work they are providing for the child. Siblings that spend time watching or caring for their handicapped brother or sister may also need a reward. Parents may want to spend time with the other siblings to reduce stress or jealousy.
A family may also consider taking part in family activities while the special needs child stays with a caregiver. This may mean going to the park, out for a meal, or going to a movie without fear of bad behavior from the special needs child. Easing stress is not about quantity of time, but the quality of time that is spent with other members of the family.
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